I can't believe they turned our beloved Gardiner Museum at Avenue and Bloor into the fucking Guvernment. Fire dancers, scantily-clad go-go dancers, LOUD pumping Beyonce remixes.. It was insane.
THE MOST HORRIBLY COORDINATED EVENT EVER ATTENDED.
The guestlist line was packed, even for the "important people" and the entrance was bland. They put the red carpet photo opps RIGHT in the pathway of entrance so everyone's ducking in front of cameras capturing semi-pseudo celebs posing in front of a Coors Light logo'd backdrop.
Got in and the Gardiner had been redone to look like a fucking Diamond and Schmidt condo development. I miss the old ladies wearing Simpson's suits and broaches.
Went up the third floor (no signs, blackened sub floors in between) to find the real bar..
CASH fucking bar. $8 a pop. 20 minutes to get a drink. One bar. About 200 people. Manager is screaming at the bartenders. They are making each individual Iceberg vodka drink. And by the way, I drink straight vodka and I'll tell ya, Iceberg tastes for like it came from a dumpster.. We ordered two and vamoosed. Worst martini I have ever had. The fuckers didn't know how to do change with anyone.. And the bartenders kept breaking shit..
The only person that kept me interested was the security guard behind me. I chatted with him about the museum, how they were gonna beat some people up tonight for fun and offered him a drink. A no go. He was probably also the only black person there. What the fuck is with TIFF being incredibly white? Don't they invite black people to these events?
Anyway, saw my friend Stewart who is the Director of Spin. The music was so loud, we couldn't talk. I'm sure I said a few fabulour things and he just nodded. Saw Kate (from Tribe) there looking Hawt with a capital H. Her date was pretty good looking as well. Wish I could've chatted with them if the fucking drink line hadn't been so long..
Spotted judges from Canadian Idol, tons of Canadian models and all of Canada's Top Model were beside us NOT eating any of the Jamie Kennedy snackies.. Man, they wear a lot of makeup and they were wearing the tackiest clothing.. What is WITH Canadian fashion? What're we, too scared to follow some trends that we have to resort to looking like we're stuck in 1997?
Anyway, got out of there so fast after a quick smoke on the overly packed patio.. Then jetted to Liberty Grand where the booze is free and the bartenders don't drop their shakers at the sight of Sass Jordan...
7 straight vodka martinis total.. I don't know how I even managed to get up and teach a 5 hour workshop on interview skills. Yeesh.
Me coming up the Gardiner Museum steps.. Proud of the outfit though. Even though I look like a Justin Timberlake poser.. But fuck him, I was bringing sexyback way before he got offered a drunken BJ from Lance.. Did I mention that Lance Bass was there at this party? Yuck.
More pics to come. I still have the Warhol party to hit (missed the Shortbus bash. Go Sook Yin though!), a special screening of that Scrubs guy's new movie (Garden State was blah to me) and then the closing party at the Harbourfront..
